If you’re anything like me, I’m sorry.
In this case, you probably spend way too much time in miniature existential crisis mode in your head considering the fact that we are spinning on a rock through time and space with no brakes. You probably have these realizations daily and you likely zone out during them as you are considering the implications of our reality and existence. Not all is bad though, these deep seeded and utterly mind wrecking realizations often have the opportunity to ground people like us, it puts us in perspective and suddenly, in most cases, nothing seems like it is too big or too impossible.
These mega-realizations of how insignificant we truly are on a universal scale do not have to just be a point of cosmic anxiety for people like us though, and if this type of person isn’t you, then consider it from our point of view.
As you ground yourself and recognize that we are but a conscious lump of matter held together by energy in motion, and shed the facade of ego, it becomes alarmingly apparent that you have two very clear, very polarizing choices right off the bat. These choices are to care a lot about everything around you or care about what you can control. For a while, and for reasons I still cannot pinpoint, I chose to care about everything around me, not in the “I care about you” empathetic sense, but rather the “your opinion affects me and my decisions” way.
This application of my environment into my life made my existence a cluttered mess, one which was limited only to the self limiting beliefs which others placed on me at any given moment. My prosperity was solely dependent on permission to excel and continue moving forward, and thus it was stifled when told to stop or that I wasn’t capable. It took many existential realizations to come to the general conclusion that I had very little reason, none really, to care about anything else except what I am in control of.
I began to place my energy in places where I wanted to create a new environment for myself which meant I had to tune out the current environment I was in and separate myself and my thoughts from that environment. Once I disconnected my emotional center from the self limiting beliefs of others it was as though an archaeologist of the soul was uncovering an all powerful self, derived from unlimited potential and capable of physically creating any thought I focused on long enough.
When I look back on the many transition times in my life which led me to my current blessings, I see a common theme introduced at each major turning point; I created something. My creations are of a wide variety over the years, some more significant to me than others, some failures, some successes, some which I do not know what I was thinking, yet all played an important role. At the point which I created something it was then that I would come to realizations quietly driving, thinking to myself in class, in the prone position in a field with a gun somewhere, it was at these places where I would always realize just how incredible and powerful each of us are in our own unique way.
The creative process involved with forming new environments, ideals, things…it always fascinated me because it was at these moments when I would feel a connection with infinite energy, a Godly energy which seemed to support me without a word being said. Those moments on a long road with all the time in the world, or zoning out in quite peace and letting my mind wander in its creative process, those moments where I’m just going through the motions and all of the sudden I felt and still feel as though I was/am doing the right thing, I recognize these aren't simply to be passed off as coincidences anymore but can also see how the novice enlightened or skeptical individual might.
Allowing ourselves the permissions needed to create in any and all capacities in our lives, opens up doors which most often we could have never previously envisioned. Our creation is directly linked to our deepest source of pure happiness which is bliss. As we move into our creative center we begin to not only shed the self limiting beliefs of others, but also begin to live by example so as to set free those who are chained to a false reality where what they see is what they get. I cannot pretend I have all the answers to life’s many questions, yet I still ask new ones each and every day and search for the answers physically, spiritually and metaphysically. In this same sense, I am not perfect, yet this is no excuse not to search for the perfect life.
Often we refuse to take leaps of faith because what we have is just good enough, and yet, just good enough is all you will be known for as the dirt is tossed over your casket and you’re laid to rest with your just good enough family, friends and just good enough co-workers surrounding your just good enough funeral, leaving behind just good enough life insurance and a just good enough will. Being just good enough, or accepting that you can get by with simply doing the bare minimum sounds terrifying to me after having seen the other side of my creative power. Being just good enough sounds like being largely full of regrets, sure you did what needed to be done and did it just good enough to get by, but yet in a deep place within you, you have suppressed the power of an infinite potential never realized and subdued it in exchange for just getting by.
If you feel just good enough, the good news is you don’t have to, but you do have to make that decision, You have to firmly commit to accepting that just good enough isn’t good enough anymore and remove yourself from your environment while beginning to look at yourself from a third party view point which incorporates the grander scheme of things. What is it you are afraid of in the creative process? are you afraid to fail and become homeless, lose everything and ruin what “just good enough” life you have built for yourself? I cannot tell you that these things won’t happen, they are certainly a possibility, but I can tell you that if you’re willing to take control at your lowest point then what you will be able to build from scratch will be magnificent.
Either way, whether homeless or a billionaire or anywhere in-between, you use and expel energy the same as anyone else, you just don’t focus it the same as anyone else. If all you are doing to get by is just being good enough with a survival mindset, what do you care if you fail and become homeless and lose everything? You are already only occupying a space on the planet and just ticking your life’s clock down until it is time to leave, and at either point you are separated from your creative process and isolated from your highest attainable potential, meaning none is better than the other when you are just getting by. We live on an abundant earth, one which can provide for all life, all dreams, all aspirations, yet you chose only to eat the crumbs off the floor, not even off the napkin let alone the table, or the plate or the actual pie. If you aren’t willing to create something through a combination of thought and effort, what’s the point of thought at all. If all you are doing is just enough, and suppressing the grand ideas, aspirations and dreams that flow through you everyday in exchange for just doing what it takes to squeak by, why don’t you just turn ff your brain all together and force yourself into robot like compliance with complacency?
What divine energy within you still forces you to dream big, have ideas and feel connected, to love, to wonder and to be curious, despite you intentionally ignoring it because you need to do what it takes to get by. It takes a much bigger person than I to accept this subduing of the creative process, I surrendered to it, I became even smaller on a cosmic scale and nothing truly seemed important anymore when I did, especially just getting by. It takes a truly strong person to drown their creative process in the day to day complacency of rigid life, disguised as discipline or doing what it takes to live.
Remove your scarcity mindset for a minute and allow yourself to surrender to the infinite possibility that maybe there is more, and watch what creative processes begin to wander back into your life willingly like they have been waiting at the gate, guarded by armed security which couldn’t let them in because they’d disrupt the status quo otherwise. Creating something means becoming vulnerable to the idea that the way you are living is as insignificant as any other individual not living up to their potential regardless of their economic status, it is becoming self aware that focused energy and thought produce the reality around you which is ever changing according to your marginal, everyday actions. In order to see from the point of view I’m talking about, you first need to separate yourself and create something. you don’t need to change the world, you just need to change the world around you.