These days, removing myself from any situation can take place on the next breath. I’ve trained myself, like any muscle in the body, to more quickly recognize situations, people and relationships which no longer serve their originally intended purpose in my life.
I hold a set of personal aspirations that are very high, I have plans for myself which for the life of me, I cannot remit. Sometimes, I wish I had the mentality to “remain” and although I’ve learned to be content with myself through each personal evolution of my development, I cannot NOT pursue the next big thing I have in mind for myself. At each changing of the guard, as I prepare to take on my next endeavor, I must both hurt and inspire others unintentionally. Although at one time it used to hurt very bad to continue moving forward, I’ve been able to see the bigger picture over the last couple years and it’s allowed me to realize that I don’t need anyone to like me, support me or believe in me for any reason, as long as I am being my absolute truest self.
When we have big goals in mind and we are focused, it is an inevitable fact that at some point we must elevate ourselves or remain “as is”. The beginning of this article may have led you to believe that this means you must ruin all sorts of relationships to move on to the next level and that’s not the case. Leaving my best friends, most of whom are still my best friends, was the hardest thing I’ve had to do, and I enjoy wholeheartedly when I get to go home and see them, but they know I have something big in store for myself. What I am saying rather, is that you should be prepared for some relationships to implode in on you as the article suggests, because this too is a reality we must face as we elevate ourselves.
If you’ve ever been made to feel terrible by those who you once associated with because you worked relentlessly to elevate yourself, your consciousness and expand into greater personal roles, this is for you. It is a fact that not many in this life will ever realize their full potential, power or abilities; although a shame, you have worked past life’s incredible road blocks and come into your truest form. Although sometimes you are nervous and question yourself, you are inspired and are able to keep moving forward, it has taken years of removing self doubt, pity and a victim mindset to be able to get to where you are. Through this, all some people have to offer is trash talk and negative energy associated with your positive success…why?
As I’ve said before in previous articles, very little separates you from any mega-star, famous celebrity, or influencer who clogs our social media feeds. With focused energy and faith, you are within arms reach of the life of your dreams, it isn’t something that happens over night, but you already know that you can be what ever you want to be one step at a time, everyday. The reason others despise you for knowing this information and applying it to your everyday life is because you refuse to concede to their demands of stagnation, even if they aren’t verbal about it. Even if you don’t know them personally but just as acquaintances, they could still despise your success and effort because it serves only as a reminder that they do not give everything of themselves towards their truest passion(s).
You will forever be hated or despised by the people who you remind daily that they are worth more than they have themselves valued at currently. Your success will continue to, on a very deep and spiteful level, anger them and drive them to unrelenting, unnecessary and nonsensical personal reprisal for you and your success. The difference between your elevation and their current place, is their mindset that they “just have enough“ while you have the mindset that you “have plenty and are grateful for it” no matter the situation, which allows you to grow faster than those who wish to spite you for your application of personal, spiritual, philosophic, and theological knowledge.
You will forever be hated or despised by the people who you remind daily that they are worth more than they have themselves valued at currently.
As you grow and emit your truth and your light, you will serve as an example for those willing to be inspired and who want to elevate as well. You will in the same growth and through leading by example, find that those who continue to fight their creative center and ability to live their own unique truth will not only not support you, but mock you and go as far as to pretend in their own bubble of personal confusion and unrealized hurt, that they actually left YOU behind because you “changed” — when in all reality, they cannot accept that they just stayed the same, which is the real problem. Those in your life who act like this can create a distraction for you in your growth, especially if you never intended for such a turbulent response to be held in regard to you becoming a better version of yourself. There’s a few things you need to know about this process, which over time I have learned and continue to develop and apply in my personal life.
1) You don’t owe anyone any response whatsoever for coming into the best version of who you are, even if they are desperately trying to solicit a response from you.
2) Even if they haven’t said anything directly, but you can “feel” their spite for you and your success, you do not need to react with an emotional response, you do not need to address it, and you do not need to try and mend a relationship where only one person is entirely broken. The same path you took of solitude and humility will be the one they must enter into in order to heal properly and entirely.
3) You are allowed to be wildly successful, exclaim it to the world, and even through humility you may confidently and exorbitantly claim your personal happiness. If you refuse to do so, you will protect yourself from the open reprisal of those who will find a reason to hate anyone else regardless, and diminish the opportunity of another to follow in your foot steps in inspiration and self-awareness. You should proudly plant your flag and emit your light for the latter with no regard or attention towards the former.
4) It is not, it will never be, and it cannot be your responsibility to lift another up through constant focus, doing so will take away time from your personal aspirations and serve useless because each journey is an immensely personal one which requires an individual effort and awakening that cannot be directly provided by another, only indirectly through living our own truth.
5) You have a responsibility to not harbor feelings of spite in return for theirs, it is your job to pray for their well being, wish them the best from a distance and remain calm, cool and collected (I am still working VERY hard on this one). If you revert to feelings of anger, emotional outbursts and reprisal in return for theirs, you have sacrificed the progress on your journey in that moment and are in no way better than them, all you have to do is have the self awareness to carry on, it will take practice but you can do it.
Sometimes, when I dream big I will tell others around me about it, which is apparently a big psychological “no-no”. I don’t tell others about my aspirations for confirmation purposes anymore like I once did though, which is why I think this is different. Instead when I tell someone my wildest goals now, I watch their facial expression and usually their words do not match their body language or energy once I do. I get a “OK buddy, whatever” kind of look, like the kind you give the guy at your hometown bar who says he “could have joined the army but …” or the girl who was “literally the best cheerleader on the squad and could have had a full scholarship but…”
I get a look like the dreams we dream are just that, an unobtainable figment of our imagination, It is as though when they are told what I dream of making a reality, they forget that we live in a country which went to the moon, one which Elon Musk put a Tesla vehicle into space, one with first world amenities and computers in nearly every living space. It is as though people forget we live in the physical realization of the dreams that people once held for us, yet they still don’t believe theirs, or mine, are actually possible.
When I receive these looks I wish I could say I am not motivated and inspired by them, and instead I’m only inspired by my own accord, but this would be a lie. I am inspired by their looks of doubt and fear, it makes me want to take risk, explore and do more, to prove that all things are possible. I’ve found in this course of events and action, that it is never the person I intended to show what I am capable of (as well as what they’re capable of) who ends up inspired, but usually a third party individual watching from the bleachers.
In other words, if you happen to tell me I can’t start a coffee shop while playing college football, you’ve just inspired me to do it even better now, beyond my original inspiration to do it. After it is said and done, like everything else I’ve ever set out to achieve, it is not you who is inspired to believe all things are possible all of the sudden — even though you looked at me like I was a psycho for suggesting it was possible, and I actually did it. You are far more likely, in my experience, to spite me for it naturally, because now you feel a sense of inadequacy…this was never the plan though, it is an unintended consequence of my highest aspirations being attained and it is the same consequence you will face with people when you elevate yourself.
It is not our responsibility to provide comfort for others decisions not to seek opportunities to grow in discomfort. More-so, it is not our job to compete against those who seek to bring us down in order to simply have the last word, to have the final blow or to dig at the others feelings until they retreat in despair. I assure you, if they are attacking you, despising you, or otherwise trying to bring you down from your elevation — they have already lost the battle, if it was one. It isn’t a battle though is it, because your only job, your sole job (“soul job” works too), is to live in your truth, that’s it. My truth is not clubs, bars, concerts or partying, my truth is risk, entrepreneurship, exploration, knowledge, surrounding myself with smart people, writing articles on Saturday nights, this is my truth and it is not a competition against another whose truth it isn’t, it is my only job to live mine, everything else will fall into place naturally.
It is time to not only elevate, but to know how to do it without the stomach churning feeling that you are hurting others in the process, you aren’t, you’re growing, outgrowing and becoming the person you were meant to be and you must begin to give yourself permission to do exactly that without feeling like you owe those around you a parting gift resulting in emotional baggage. You are allowed to separate yourself.